Trip Me

i stumbled hard yesterday

crashing as my hand

found the drawer in the house

holding my relief in

the guise of a white pill.

long before but

under a different

prescribed-umbrella

a doctor

told me at 16

if you don't stop

you'll be dead by 20

so i changed from Vicks and Crown

to Vicodin and Goose,

and with luck

my new stabilizing-solution

solved the

equation if only

temporary, but avoiding

the problem itself

instead appearing suddenly

again, to ask why

i continue to

slip and let myself

do nothing but

find more excuses

as my

intestines rot

and lose their

ability to control themselves,

much like their owner

whose means

grew along with his needs

until

he crashed on the ice,

cracking his

skull and with forced intervention

imprinting a desire

to control his passion.

until yesterday.

when for no real reason

i was left

like a toddler without an excuse

of why i did it.

i just knew that i did

and wished that

suddenly

someone had tripped me

instead of

me falling on my own.

11.29.02