Living Through Destruction

we sit on a roof top watching

the clouds coat the top

of the world and give notice

of the storm heading our way.

the beach below is showing

signs of life and i wonder

why we need to run. do the

creatures of the sea run?

don't the birds stay

in their trees? i watch the

blue clearwater ripple with

life as the tourists take

their tee shirts, sea shells,

and fried skins to flee back

to where they come from.

While we sit on the roof

as the winds rise up and the

bay water tips off white,

and in the distance the gray

and black blend, and the fury

that is coming to life out

there is so mesmerizing and

enticing that not even women

hold this gaze from me as long,

but much like a woman it keeps

me waiting. Waiting until she is

ready to come ashore and show me

nature’s way of

living through destruction

and tearing me apart under the

sheet of the night.

12.04.02

Like A Whisper

like a whisper. low.
almost a hum in your ear
when you close your eyes
i am there.

a single key on the piano
played slowly
over and over again,
in rhythm with your pulse

pumping blood
throughout your body.
that secret tick.
low. almost a hum

in your memory i
pull back to life
something long since
forgotten, but now

when you close your
eyes is there
as fresh as yesterday.
low. almost a hum

in your ear
these words cast
a net of attention
longed for by all,

like a whisper of an
old friend.
calming. soothing. low.
a hummed song

shared between two
friends waiting to
be together and
raise their voices.

09.29.10

Justifiable Homicide

How many more times will i let you spit in my face?
How many more times?
Your stupidity is my own ignorance.
What a fool i am.
Even a blind man accepts his fate.
Why can't I accept mine?
You destroyed my past and you attempt to destroy my future.
Perhaps i should just give up.
There are no more questions of forgiveness,
in fact there are only
questions of when i will end
both of our misery and this entire mess.
i take your life so i can live mine.
My hate is your murder.
Your death is my life.
My life that you no longer own.
Your death is my final gift to you.
Do you like it?
i hope it's the right size.

1993

A Junkie

addicted
to an idea
of what
i'm really not sure

dreaming
without closing
eyes
visions of people
who frighten me
without
menacing

i fear
my addiction dreams
of no fix
although i
constantly feel
as though
i need one

because my dreams
are questions
with no
answers

1993

A Good Street

there in the car
i see it hidden behind
the mask of normalcy
in these sub-divisions,
cul-de-sacs, and backyard
gardens.
there is a seed of deviance
that continues to thrive
there behind
the smiles, the girl-scout cookies,
and little league baseball
where all the bases are covered
with private rooms, special outfits,
video cameras, and
kisses
on the backs of knees, necks, and
underbelly of breasts until
the moans grow higher. grow like
big fat juicy tomatoes in the
backyard gardens and my Lord don't
they taste perfect.

2.13.02

a fight in the cold

there is a circular wind
blowing as she stands
with a fist and i wonder
why make it so unclear?
why speak in broken riddles?
why allow the poet to hide
behind silly images and
metaphors when you can come
right out and feel the breeze
while she knocks your teeth out.

12.07.02

A Changing Man

Someday this construction
will end and the project
that controls me will complete,
after i admit my
drinking problem and pray

for forgiveness from my body
that wakes each time shuttering
in a illness and destroying
what i try to restore, and i'll
admit that i like to pick

up questionable women and do
even more questionable things
to them and tear them down as
best i can like a human
earthquake trying to expose

their soul as much as i try
to reconstruct my own if for
nothing more than to stop all
the questions and advances
and offerings

of salvation in answers that
i know the speaker can't make,
but like any good contractor
will be coming back for yet
another check

because they underestimated
the expense like i've underestimated
how long it was going to take
to rebuild again as i open
another drink

and order her to undress
and crawl on the floor to me.

5.07.03